INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
In a destroyed hotel room, with a television blasting static and almost empty liquor bottles strewn across the floor, MIKE, a 21 year old blogger with the credentials to prove it, rises from the bed and lets out a moan.
Val! Are you still alive?
A large snort is heard from the bathroom and VAL, a 20 year old blogger with the credentials to prove it, pokes her head out, eyes wide from her great hit of cocaine.
Mike! I’m still kickin’. I feel like this has been quite a bender. What day is it?
MIKE rolls out of bed and hits the floor HARD. He rips away a garbage bag staple gunned to the wall to reveal a calendar crudely painted to the wall.
ValValZela, you aren’t going to like this.
Oh, don’t tell me its Tuesday already.
Worse, its December 16th.
Are you telling me that we’ve been partying for almost a month and a half?!
Yeah, we checked in on November 9th, right?
MIKE, still on the ground, punches the wall, leaving another gaping hole in the drywall.
Shit! We need to get out of here. How hard are you tripping on those shrooms?
Not very hard at all now, thanks. I can probably stand up by now.
MIKE slowly pulls himself into a standing position while VAL reaches deep into a hole in the wall and pulls out a beaten up cell phone.
Dammit. He’s called me like fifteen times.
How does Chris not understand boundaries yet? What a dick.
Whatever. Grab your gear and lets go.
MIKE and VAL grab their portable typewriters and duffel bag stuffed with clothes and handles of Costco brand vodka. They EMBRACE and share a passionate KISS and they both completely forget about their lifelong enemy, CHRIS. They are interrupted by a KNOCK on the door.
Did you order room service?
MIKE leans toward the door and looks out of the peephole. FOUR ARMED POLICE OFFICERS stand outside the door, more than prepared to knock it down.
You thinking what I’m thinking?
MIKE and VAL SIMULTANEOUSLY
Lock and load!
Realizing that they have no weapons, they quickly throw a rope from the window and rappel down five stories to the base of the hotel. They high five.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT – DAY
We need a ride out of here fast.
I’m on it
VAL pulls her PHONE from her pocket and begins to text
Alright, what state are we in again?
I’m going to say Colorado, but I’m not positive.
Okay, he’s on his way.
Literally seconds later, a CAR comes barreling down the road at MIKE AND VAL. It slides to a stop right in front of them. PAT, a mustachioed economics major with the credentials to prove it, sticks his head out of the driver’s side window.
I was beginning to think I’d seen the last of you two.
Not yet Pat. Bloggers don’t go away that easily.
Yeah kid, we’ll tell you all about it once we’re clear of this mess.
MIKE AND VAL jump into the backseat of the CAR and they take off down the highway, easily outrunning the POLICE OFFICERS chasing after them after they GO OFF A JUMP
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
What have you guys been doing? We’ve been looking all over for you for weeks!
Just had to get out of the limelight baby. With all the pressure of producing monster hit blog posts, we needed a break.
Yeah Plattypus, all the internet dollars in the internet can’t make us happy. Fame and fortune isn’t everything
Well forget whatever you’ve been feeling before, are you ready to start blogging again?
MIKE AND VAL SIMULTANEOUSLY
You bet your ass!
MIKE AND VAL start blogging again and EVERYONE loves it.