Morale Drop: I Want To Get Fat Again

It’s been a rough week. Two tough finals and one more around the corner. Sure, it’s nice to “be healthy”, but I just want to give up and go back to my old ways. Here’s why:

I have to buy a belt or something

Yeah, my jeans don’t really fit me anymore. I mean, yes, it is obviously great that they don’t fit me. But I can’t go around with my ass hanging out all day so I need to buy a belt.

I have no energy

After I do an hour of cardio and a bunch of sit ups, I’m really fucking tired. It sucks. People are out having fun and I am just trying not to die from exhaustion. I could stop all this and just lie in bed all day and be super happy!

Ah, the good ol' days...

I spend about 2 hours a day covered in sweat

This is shitty in two ways. First of all, that’s two hours less that I get to spend relaxing and generally having fun. Second, all the cute girls are at the gym and I am goddam scary when I work out. Not only am I super sweaty and gross, but I also breath like I’m dying. In the probably 23 times I’ve been to the gym in the month of February, no one has ever made eye contact with me.

Pizza di Roma would taste so fucking good right now

I want you inside me, slice of pepperoni pizza with red pepper flakes.

Even with my diet and exercise, the gains are a lot less than in previous weeks

I was down to 162 on Sunday. I took one day off on Tuesday and didn’t go too hard yesterday and now I’m back up to 165. For fucks sake, I have like 25 more pounds to lose.

I can’t really notice any change in how my body looks

This is probably just a combination of being oblivious about everything, I’ve been slowly losing weight over a month, and it’s only about 10 pounds (and I have 25 to go). But still, it’s not exactly cool when I look into a mirror and see what appears to be the exact same body as a month ago.

There’s no way my body can sustain this for much longer and not get sick

My body is super weak. I got shingles in December just because I had to take my finals. I give myself a month and a half until I get pneumonia and die. But this brings me to my only point of why I should stick with this…

My dad paid for me to run the half marathon in April and will get super mad if I don’t run it and finish it

Yeah, pretty much that. I’m totally not in shape enough to finish that race, so it looks like I’ll have to keep training for a while longer.

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