In the style of Tracey Emin’s “Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963-1995” and Megan Boyle’s “Everyone I’ve Had Sex With”, I too have decided to chronicle my own personal tales of relationships, although I’ll tell stories of a more intimate nature: Everyone I’ve Been To A High School Dance With.
1: We had ‘dated’ for about a week back in 7th grade and most freshmen were excited to go to their first high school dance, myself included. It was freshman year homecoming and I wore a completely tweed suit, of which I’m still ashamed (although it was slightly hilarious). I was still pretty uncomfortable around women, so I imagine she didn’t have a great time with me. We don’t talk.
2: After a significant high school dance dry-spell until the end of my Junior year, I was asked to prom by , a senior. I wasn’t her first choice, but she asked me via a cookie cake so plenty of points for that. My good friends drove me to the dance and her little brother tried to squeeze my hand threateningly when I shook it. The food was pretty crappy, but it was a fun time in general.  is a nice girl, but our interests were pretty different. I remember I wanted to talk about music and I had nothing to respond to her liking of Fall Out Boy. We made out on the dance floor. She was my first kiss. We don’t talk.
3: I had only met  once before her senior year homecoming. She went to a nearby high school and needed a date to the dance, which was Harry Potter themed. Once I hear about the theme, I asked my friend who went there to get me date and she introduced me to . It was a good time, mostly because I got to dance with a girl for a while and I got to wear a Gryffindor tie. I usually never care about decorations but they did an amazing job at the school. I went out for pancakes with a friend after the dance.  and I went on two dates after that, but nothing materialized. One of those dates was to see “RocknRolla” though, which was awesome. We talk infrequently.
4: I had had a crush on  for a few weeks and had hung out with her a few times before my senior homecoming. I’d say this is the first dance where my confidence started showing and I was actually a fun date. This is also probably the first dance I had been to where they played Hot N Cold by Katy Perry (these are probably related). I had a great time and I think she did too. We faced some drama at some point when one of her friends got kissed by her date. I still have no idea why this was such a big deal. I should have kissed  and I regret not doing it. We still talk occasionally.
5: She asked me to senior year turnabout with a mixed CD (great idea) of what I think was Jimmy Eat World and other bands I didn’t really enjoy much. She was a sweet girl though, and I had a fun time. Our principal had redesigned the dance floor such that grinding and more promiscuous dancing were more difficult. I didn’t spend much time with  at the dance, instead I kind of ditched her and goofed around and danced with my guy friends instead. It was a ton of fun, but I feel guilty for not hanging out with her the whole time. We don’t talk.
6: We had been dating for about 2 months before my senior prom. I asked her with a coffee and a sign that read “Foam the bottom of my heart, I sure do like you a latte. Will you go to prom with me?” (Nailed it!). She pre-ordered (and I paid for) the whole tie, corsage, garter, and colors of my tuxedo. The corsage came with a really expensive necklace or something and ended up costing like 80 dollars. I was secretly upset with this for a really long time (every other of these dates had gotten a 12 dollar corsage from Jewel; they’re great). The pre-party was at my house and most of my best friends were there. After the dance, we went to Rock N Roll McDonald’s in the limo. We still talk.
7. I asked her to prom during her senior year in high school while I was finishing my first year in college. We had a really fun time and we share many mutual friends (including ). Something about not being a high schooler as well as just having ended the relationship with  made me feel very carefree and fun the whole night. It ties with  as being the most fun at a dance. We made out, but I screwed up relationship possibilities gradually over the next month. We infrequently talk.
Age at first time: 14
Age at present: 21
Total dance dates: 7
Total female dates: 7
Total male dates: 0 (but I did spider-juke with Brian once)
Alcohol involved: 1
Limo rides: 3
Dances with regrets: 3
Danced to “Hot N Cold”: 4
Favorite song to dance to: “Twist and Shout” -The Beatles
What I felt like after completing this list: Happy. I think every one of these dances was a lot of fun. I hope my dates had fun too.