Adventures In Online Dating: Part II

As I explained in an earlier post, I’m socially retarded so I’ve started online dating. You can see my actual profile at http://www.okcupid.com/profile/MikeWhatever. But like, whatever.

A photo of me socializing with girls at a party

It’s been about 3 months that I’ve had my account on OkCupid, and I’d like to say that I’m totally great at online dating. The key to success in online dating is to open conversation in an interesting (and fun!) way. Find a common interest and keep it short and jocular!

Boom!

Throw in some friendly physical contact into it while you’re at it too.

Nailed it!

Somehow, those messages both got responses from women. Dating Tip: Those were sent out while I was drunk! For best results though, throw in a personal, open-ended question that let’s them talk about their interests and themselves.

Dates!

So yeah, I totally rock at online dating now. So since then, I’ve been getting artsy with my posts. I always enjoy debates in a relationship, so why not just begin with one?

She opened her profile with a tirade against cargo shorts. Oh you!

Or… why not make wild assumptions about her profile?

Get out of my dreams, and get into my other dreams about The Mighty Ducks

Or just write a message with the most awkward segue possible!

Jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes

But I digress. The fastest way to a woman’s heart is obviously… poetry.

I’m sorry I didn’t meet all your specifications. But I totally know haikus!

Dating Tip: Except for the first two and the Mighty Ducks one, none of those messages got responses!

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