Thoughts on “The Amazing Spider-Man”

I’m a huge fan of superhero origin stories. Specifically, I’m pretty sure that there’s no way that I can hate a Spiderman reboot. Anything that involves an awkward nerdy kid learning to develop the most objectively cool powers in the entire superhero mythos while making jokes about puberty is going to make me smile the entire time. Watching Andrew Garfield learn to use his newfound agility while skateboarding was probably one of my favorite scenes in the film. Outside of the things that would be in any Spiderman origin movie (Spiderman, super powers, cheesy jokes while fighting crime, web shooting, puberty jokes, Peter Parker making out with a cute girl), this movie did bring a little extra to the table. Most obvious is the chemistry between Garfield and Emma Stone.

“I hate mondays too!”

It’s just really fun to watch them together onscreen. What makes them so great is that we see their relationship evolve from extreme awkwardness. Peter Parker isn’t great with girls; in fact, he’s terrible. I feel that this is a love story in a superhero movie that I was interested in (unlike seriously every other superhero movie. I really can’t think of a one that I cared about). A big factor is probably that Emma Stone is cute as a button. The bangs don’t really work for me, but she’s the most likable love interest that I can think of in a superhero movie. Who’s the competition? Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dark Knight? Dunst in the other Spiderman movies? Pshhh, well, maybe Anne Hathaway will beat her out in Dark Knight Rises! (We shall see…)

The other strong part of the movie was the humor. Just like… good jokes, you know? They’re good.

Moving onto things that are mehhhhh, the aspect of superhero movies that I’m least interested in are the fight scenes. I know that they’re obligatory and necessary to furthering the plot, but I just don’t care. It isn’t fun to watch. It’s the same thing for Dark Knight and Iron Man (two of the best superhero movies of the last few years). I want to watch Batman yelling at the Joker and Ironman being snarky and charming in his lab. I find myself really uninterested when Batman has to go fight the Joker’s henchmen or Ironman has to fight Jeff Bridges. So yeah, Spider-Man suffers from the same problem. Watching Peter Parker fight a big CGI lizard just isn’t interesting to me.

Speaking of which, I didn’t like Curt Conners as a villain at all. Rhys Ifans is an awesome actor and all, but I didn’t find the lizard to be realistic.


Why not stick to a villain that can done without CGI? Doc Octapus, Shocker, Vulture, Green Goblin, Sandman…? Yeah, Spiderman doesn’t really have great enemies, but still! This just didn’t do it for me.

Also, I just don’t like Dennis Leary. He’s just not likable. He rose to fame, in fact, for a song in which he talks about how much an asshole he is. So, shame on the movie for putting him in a role in which I’m supposed to like him. It’s just not going to happen.

Oh, one more thing. There’s a scene in this movie which is seriously the most masturbatory American film moment in the history of film. I love it! After Spiderman is like… almost dead from being shot and fought and stuff, he needs to get to a building on the other side of town to save the girl, stop the bomb, save the town, and blah blah blah. Luckily for Spiderman, the construction workers of NYC all team up together to move their cranes so Spiderman can use them to swing across the city quickly. Then, they play patriotic music and a man stands in front of a giant American flag and says something to the effect of “We have to help Spiderman!” (this seriously happened). It’s great.

How do I add in a CGI eagle?


Just go watch the movie. It’s worth it. Andrew Garfield has cool hair. Emma Stone is cute. Spiderman shoots webs. Martin Sheen acts.

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