Cover Letter

Community Hospital, Central Columbus

Dearest Ms. Emily Megan Hoondungus,

 

I am writing this letter to friendly inquire:

is your hospital is still looking for hire?

If yes, consider me for the position

of an on staff, General Pediatrician.

My qualifications, I have more than a few.

So if you please, I’ll just list them to you:

 

I received a Bachelor’s in Poetry in 2004

from “University of Whizzle-Thumb Joomjabbermore”

Graduated with honors and more than one minor

in Linguistics and Writing, there’s no finer rhymer!

I completed graduate school in 2008

with a doctorate’s in Rhyming from Ohio State

I developed a thesis through Professor Milton C. Huff

in the Department of English and… General Stuff.

While I may have not paid all my academic dues,

my skill as a wordsmith must have some pediatric use.

I have not spent my time curing pandemics,

or rather research with other academics.

I’ve spent my time writing, and it might just sound garish

that for me I felt it was publish or perish!

 

Nothing in this world would bring me greater enjoyment

Than becoming a doctor of your employment.

 

Sincerely,

A doctor of valuable use

 

Theodore Geisel (or Doctor Seuss)

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