My roommate Kyle informed me that he bought a pair of “raw denim” jeans. Apparently, it means that he paid extra money to buy jeans that haven’t been washed or factory distressed. This is really confusing for me and I think I’ll have to sleep on it.
I still don’t get it. I have so many questions!
- How are jeans “distressed”?
- Does someone run around in them for a while?
- How does this distressing and washing process reduce the value of jeans?
- Why the hell would companies do this?
Kyle says that the jeans are currently pretty tight and uncomfortable on him. He says that he’s supposed to wear the jeans every day for six months and they’ll gradually adjust to his body type. Then he’s allowed to wash them and then they’ll stay in their current shape.
- How many days would it take for my jeans to be covered in mustard stains?
- Is the average person realistically able to make it six months without spilling mustard on their jeans?
- Is it possible that the jeans don’t actually ever change shape? Customers just get used to always being uncomfortable in the jeans?
- What would happen if I wore them for like 5 hours every night while he slept?
- Would it slowly conform to my body shape and he’d be forced to give me his expensive jeans?
- Will Kyle become suspicious if his jeans become covered in mustard stains?
I have begun making nightly measurements of the dimensions of the jeans and using color swatches to mark the fading that occurs. Please see the other notebook for all further measurements.
I’ve begun a daily early morning run in the jeans at 7am while Kyle is asleep. I doubt he suspects anything and I feel that these jeans are slowly becoming accustomed to my body.
- Are the jeans becoming self-aware?
Kyle complained about his jeans smelling and bought a bottle of febreeze. To be safe, I will start wearing long underwear under the jeans during the morning runs. Also, he says I need to stop talking about these jeans.
- Does he really deserve these jeans?
Started a raw denim blog called “Raw Dog’s Denim Blog”. I hope it becomes successful.
Kyle is becoming suspicious and has started locking his door at night. I can hear the denim calling from beyond the closed door.
- What is it that makes us human?
- Is it our agency?
- Is it the fact that I have the ability to act in this world and make a difference?
- If not to influence the fit of these jeans, what else could I do in this world that actually matters?
Kyle caught me on my early morning run today. He was pretty upset and said I need to forget about the jeans. I told him I’d try.
Honestly, this issue is much bigger than Kyle understands. I’ve gone rogue.