7 Rules For A Successful Double Date

I like my dates like I like my tea: with two honeys. Whatever. You probably already knew this, but Val and I are huge fans of double dates.

Val, Chris, and myself on a double date [my date not pictured]
Myself, Chris, and Val on a double date [my date not pictured]
You name the place, and we’ve been there on a double date. Giordano’s? Double date! Museum of Science and Industry? Double date! Simply put: we’re pros, so I’ve compiled a list of tips to help you if you ever go on a double date. Good luck!

A double date that didn't go great (I felt kind of excluded)
A double date that didn’t go great (I felt kind of excluded)

1. Dress The Part

A double date isn’t just a chance to have a good time, it’s also an opportunity to show the other couple that you’re in a happier/healthier relationship. The best way to show this is obviously by coordinating with your date to make sure you two are wearing matching outfits. So go out and buy a pair of matching overalls or maybe just wear the same colors. Either way, the other couple will be beside themselves with jealousy.

2. Conversation Cards

Whether one of the couples is meeting for the first time, or you’ve all known each other all your lives, a lull in the conversation can bring a double date into a dangerous boredom. To combat this, bring a set of (laminated) conversation cards to help move the conversation along onto a more interesting topic! Here’s a few that I bring to every double date:

  • What is your favorite color/are you colorblind?
  • Which areas of politics are you the most passionate about?
  • Roe or Wade?
  • Sports?
  • What’s the deal with laundromats?

3. Alcohol

There’s no social lubricant like alcohol (well, possibly ecstasy), so be sure to grab some brewskis for your double date! If one of the members of the group doesn’t drink/is an alcoholic, just try to convince them just to have the one drink. You’ll be saying hello to fun in no time! I’d strongly advise getting the Margaritas at Chili’s.

4. Don’t hit on the other persons date

With all that alcohol in your system, you may be tempted to hit on your friend’s date in order to “upgrade” date partners. This is generally frowned upon and rarely works. This is (one of) the reasons why I’m not allowed back in the chemistry fraternity on campus.

5. Choose the right movie

A film just might be the perfect way to spend a double date, but make sure it’s going to work well for everyone. While Passion of the ChristShawshank Redemption, A Clockwork Orange, and There Will Be Blood are excellent movies (and I’d recommend them for  experienced couples going on a double date), I’d stick with something easy to digest such as Napoleon Dynamite or Wayne’s World 2. The movie should be relaxing enough to snuggle up to your date, but also interesting enough to have a good conversation about over drinks after!

6. Ecstasy

If you feel like the date isn’t going as well as you’d hoped, why don’t you offer the group some ecstasy? It’ll help lower your inhibitions and let the happiness flow through you like the red sun. Sit back and enjoy the flowing, mysterious waters of your mind ebb into the cosmos and just live it. (Note: be sure to drink enough water so you don’t die of dehydration)

7. Foursome?

Who says the date has to end after you leave the bar? Keep the momentum going and take a cab back to your place. Be sure to lay down a large tarp and have some fun!


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