I have a minor in math and this is what I used it for. Prime numbers are numbers that have no integer factors. 6 is divisible by 2 and 3 so it can’t be prime. 53 is prime because you can’t divide it by any integers. 53 is a perfectly nice prime number. Here are the prime numbers I hate.

# 5

So fucking obvious. Why don’t you try to be more interesting? I guess you’re the only prime that ends with a 5, but you’re skating on thin ice.

# 51

Not actually prime! You try to look prime, but you’re obviously a multiple of 17.

# 17

Way to help out 51 you piece of shit.

# 41

You act like you’re so sexy (and while technically there is another prime number which differs from 41 by 6, making you a sexy prime), but you’re no where near as sexy as 73 (who is in veritable gangbang with 61, 67, and 79).

# Fermat Primes

Way to find a difficult way to blow up numbers. Only 12 Fermat Numbers can be confirmed to be prime or nonprime and only five of them are actually prime! Yeesh. Also Fermat, your prime test fails for Carmichael Numbers. Get a new profession, Fermat.

# 69691

Yeah, real mature. Grow up.

# 1999

The same year that Lou Bega released Mambo No. 5 (a song about another hatable prime).