Poetry About Spirit Airlines

I’m on minute 25 of a call with Spirit Airlines and I still have yet to talk to a person. Here’s some poetry about Spirit:

If Spirit Airlines Had A Dick

If Spirit Airlines had a dick
I’d smash it with a 5 pound brick.
If Spirit Airlines had a member
I’d punch it until late December.
If Spirit Airlines had a dick
I’d punch it ’til my arm got sick.

If Spirit Airlines had a face
I’d spray it many times with mace.
If Spirit Airlines had two eyes
I’d poke them ’til that bastard cries.
If Spirit Airlines had a face
I’d punch it into outer space.

If Spirit Airlines wasn’t so shitty
I’d be ready to go to Atlantic City.
If Spirit Airlines had a soul,
It would mostly be made of coal.
If Spirit Airlines wasn’t cursed,
but wait, they are the worst.

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