so I grew a goatee





sorry everybody


Beard Diary, Day 14: Color Me Patchy


Hey everybody, thanks to your continuing support, I’ve made it a full two weeks of full beard development! Itchiness has gone down significantly after day 11, and now I feel that I’m coasting. The struggle now is dealing with the fact that my facial hair does not want to maintain visibility. See, as my mother is blonde and my father has dark hair, my hair cannot decide to stick with one color. While the hair on top of my head is completely blonde, my facial hair is a dalíesque collection of pigments including brown, blonde, black, yellow, and red. Here’s a quick rundown of the current facial hair distribution:

1. Center Mandible
The center lower jaw is perhaps where the most diverse collection of hair lies. It is less dark in the middle because a small collection of red hairs are thriving there with a few odd yellow hairs. As one journeys up to the lower lip, hair becomes lighter and shorter. While not necessary, more growth in the upper center mandible would be advisable.

2. Aveolar Process
Certainly the most disappointing region of growth, the mustache region is completely lacking in pigment. It is difficult to see in the picture, but there are certainly follicles of considerable length; they just happen to be the same color as my skin. This is the most problematic area of the growth and darker hairs must be developed soon in order to reach a full beard. I fear that if I cannot grow a decent mustache, I won’t be able to pull off the Lincoln-Style beard.

3. Lateral Mandibles
Even darker than the center lower jaw, the side jaw is looking great. A few red hairs are peppering the darker ones and the length is pretty good for two weeks. If the rest of the face would grow this way, I’d be bearded in no time.

4. Upper Jowls
The higher cheek area is not doing as well as I hoped. We’re getting some growth, but it really slows down quickly as it goes up the cheek. This section is most dubious though, in that acne is cropping up. With some serious scrubbing and further hair development, it should hopefully be gone soon.

5. Lower Jowls
Potential sideburns are looking great. I’d appreciate it being darker but it is growing very nicely. This is probably the itchiest part of my face.

Current Beard Appraisal:
We’re certainly on our way to our goal, but theres a lot more growth needed. I’d estimate that at this rate, I can claim to have a full beard in four more weeks.

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Beard Diary: Day 9

Hey readers, just wanted to update everybody on how my first beard is growing. I’ve always given up after a week or so because it was too itchy, but I feel that this time I can pull through. The shave last saturday was satisfactory and gave me a great canvas on which to sculpt this facial art. The first few days of growth were boring and regular, but on the fourth day, the texture began to interfere with my face, and the scratching began. By day five, I wasnot comfortable, and every night I had an urge to cut it off so I could sleep soundly. Day seven was the worst, when my uncle offered me his old electric razor, as he had bought a new one. Unwisely, I took it. Now it sits on the bottom of my medicine cabinet, ready, for when I crack. Today, however, I feel fine. The beard is nicely visible and I feel that I have the stones to carry it to a full growth.