Cover Letter

Community Hospital, Central Columbus

Dearest Ms. Emily Megan Hoondungus,

 

I am writing this letter to friendly inquire:

is your hospital is still looking for hire?

If yes, consider me for the position

of an on staff, General Pediatrician.

My qualifications, I have more than a few.

So if you please, I’ll just list them to you:

 

I received a Bachelor’s in Poetry in 2004

from “University of Whizzle-Thumb Joomjabbermore”

Graduated with honors and more than one minor

in Linguistics and Writing, there’s no finer rhymer!

I completed graduate school in 2008

with a doctorate’s in Rhyming from Ohio State

I developed a thesis through Professor Milton C. Huff

in the Department of English and… General Stuff.

While I may have not paid all my academic dues,

my skill as a wordsmith must have some pediatric use.

I have not spent my time curing pandemics,

or rather research with other academics.

I’ve spent my time writing, and it might just sound garish

that for me I felt it was publish or perish!

 

Nothing in this world would bring me greater enjoyment

Than becoming a doctor of your employment.

 

Sincerely,

A doctor of valuable use

 

Theodore Geisel (or Doctor Seuss)

(untitled) (guest post)

To close my eyes and fall into that empty silent well
No guarantee or promise I’ll return from whence I fell
There and then, powerless to pray
Once consciousness has slipped away
Perhaps returning with the day
I’d rather my eyes open stay
-Anonymous

An Ode To A Friend


Thursday, a friend came in from out of town;
I was elated for his arrival.
The first day did not see one single frown,
for friendship then, there was a revival.

Friday night, however, the mood did sway
as alcohol was consumed to excess.
My own female friend, he yearn’d to persuade
this sweet gal into some state of undress!

Soon, friends left us to sit there in private.
Friend began to puke, for many an hour.
His mess, he left in a shade of violet,
in my bed and my couch and my shower.

For next time, we’ll be easy on the rum
to ensure his delight in Madison.