Community Hospital, Central Columbus
Dearest Ms. Emily Megan Hoondungus,
I am writing this letter to friendly inquire:
is your hospital is still looking for hire?
If yes, consider me for the position
of an on staff, General Pediatrician.
My qualifications, I have more than a few.
So if you please, I’ll just list them to you:
I received a Bachelor’s in Poetry in 2004
from “University of Whizzle-Thumb Joomjabbermore”
Graduated with honors and more than one minor
in Linguistics and Writing, there’s no finer rhymer!
I completed graduate school in 2008
with a doctorate’s in Rhyming from Ohio State
I developed a thesis through Professor Milton C. Huff
in the Department of English and… General Stuff.
While I may have not paid all my academic dues,
my skill as a wordsmith must have some pediatric use.
I have not spent my time curing pandemics,
or rather research with other academics.
I’ve spent my time writing, and it might just sound garish
that for me I felt it was publish or perish!
Nothing in this world would bring me greater enjoyment
Than becoming a doctor of your employment.
A doctor of valuable use
Theodore Geisel (or Doctor Seuss)